im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
