her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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