you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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