we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
