The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
