Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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