can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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