He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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