is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
