He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
