yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Everclear isn't food dammit
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
