So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
