Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
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I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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