i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Houston, we have a blender
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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