I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
