come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
