Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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