So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
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