I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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