she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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