ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
