she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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