the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
