I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize