Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
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