Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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