is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
