have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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