In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
