Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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