my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
