My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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