I met the friendliest cop last night
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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