sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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