We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
