Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
