You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
