The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
