I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
