So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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