Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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