perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
