I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
