dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
