so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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