i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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