I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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