Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
