I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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