it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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