Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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