4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
