It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
