I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
