So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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