theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
