remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
