I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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