$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
