i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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