Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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