Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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