but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
