I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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